Daily Mash tells the news how it is

From today's Daily Mash article, "BRITISH MEDIA URGED TO DO DECENT THING WITH REVOLVER":

"The Daily Telegraph is showered with awards because it offered to buy a CD-ROM with MPs expenses on it.

"The Guardian is currently even more pleased with itself than usual because it's publishing classified information that not a single one of its journalists helped to gather.

"The News of the World proclaims itself as the greatest newspaper in the world because of its rare journalistic ability to record mobile phone conversations."